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I got the below in the body of an email. Obviously just trying to get past my new spam filter. I don’t know what the hell it was trying to sell me – but I love the terrifically bad use of English! I shudder to think how the recipes would come out. Sit back and appreciate the sheer Vic and Bob weirdness of it…

Oh, and if you don’t want to similarly afflicted – then trust ‘SpamSieve‘, my newly installed gateway to a spam free inbox. SpamSieve costs $30, which some might say is expensive for an email add-on. But stop for a moment, and remind yourself how annoying it is to see even one piece of spammy rubbish in your inbox – now multiply that by a few hundred to take in all the bits of spam you’re likely to see within a single year. That $30 seems like a bit of a bargain.

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Sardines instead of minced parsley before using.

Then strain the custard firm. If you sprinkle in a lemon. This dish is delicately flavored with a pound of half a closely together.

OX TONGUE Cook it closely, and about three eggs. Stir it and if they are exact, and sprinkle on a pound flour, stirring it down half a lump of stalk; put them lightly in thin slices. Peel and a shallot, and pass all out of pineapple.

Pour the fish, can be used for three eggs cut them well tied down. You can be used.

HOT BURGUNDY Take all reduce that the firmness of tomatoes to serve.

CROQUETTES Make a vegetable becomes too much the mutton very firmly covered in it, for each tomato sauce. Decorate with this dish with a little chopped onions, two raw shallot, and three eggs. You must agree with butter, but you wish, and fry, still better than those who think it boil hard, while you have scooped out the yolks of a bone of shallots are good, or six eggs in the sieve, and well mixed, add the boil, and neat; cut in about a sieve. Pour the oven. Put in a hot oven and put it thickens; add sugar and add a small or of fennel.

HAKE AND MUSHROOMS À LA MAX Chop up again over the unexpressed corollary that though not drop in a sprinkle of course at the last item is very hot.

HOCHE POT OF ASPARAGUS One should then and juice of pigeon into stars.

YELLOW PLUMS AND SHRIMPS Take all the mashed potatoes, a medium-sized rabbit, and yet this sauce is to give it, then their possibilities at 7:30 P.M. your lard or haricots to soak overnight in this, becomes brown, add as I will get cold. Curl an egg.

Add your fish or cold. Then shred a pound of all get black. Then add any forcemeat that they are brown; add more water, peel laid round.

SPINACH FRITTERS Quarter of ham. Keep these last with some little milk. Then add soda, keep it to heat them some cold meat, and stir in a very slowly. Put them be eaten out and serve it with a mayonnaise sauce, enriched with cornflour. Quarter pound of each one egg, maybe, poached on a circular rusks, and also with flour, well soaked.

Then take a good vinegar or meat-juice or less according to two carrots, a tablespoonful of the whites, pepper